Over a year and a half ago, I made a decision in my home business that has greatly affected it’s prosperity (or lack thereof). At the time, I felt I was really doing what was right and honorable in the eyes of my Lord. Now I see that I was only “mostly” making the changes I needed to make. The shift was a very difficult thing to do, and looking back I see that I did what was tolerable for me at the time. But partial obedience is disobedience. And my business has suffered greatly.
“You shall walk in all the ways which the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live and that it may be well with you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which you shall possess.” Deut. 5:33
I was good at – GREAT at – designing and making crochet character hats. Not to sound full of myself, but I knew where my talent was. I was pretty well known for it, too. I was adding a comfortable amount of supplemental income to my household. Orders were always abundant. It was all good. Until God spoke to my heart. I got convicted about making money on licensed character items.
I decided to put a halt on my sale of spot-on character likeness hats. And that little “spot-on” term was my loophole. I continued to design and make character inspired items, and justified it because they were not exact replicas of a character or of any design Disney sold at the parks. However, my designs were still made to look like and titled as the character they were meant to represent.
I thought God was going to honor my obedience, heeding the conviction in my spirit that led me to make this tremendously difficult decision. Giving up what I was really, really good at? Knowing I could do it just about better than anyone else? Knowing it was my bread and butter? Surely God would bless my business as I added more fashion patterns to my shop. Surely the sales would remain the same, and the income would meet or exceed where it had been.
Fast forward to now – 18 months later – my business is making little to no money, and I have no desire to even make character items anymore. One day last week I was pondering this. Why is this happening? God has revealed to me that it’s not blessed because I held back. So He took me to rock bottom, to a place where I can see what I did and the results of it. Am I troubled? Yes. I thoroughly wasted 18 months of my life, trying to cling to a portion of something I pretended to let go of. On the other hand, I feel relieved. God worked out the timing of me realizing the error of my ways, my business doing absolutely nothing, my desire to create these items diminishing, and the desire for new things – perfectly.
So, now I begin again. I will try to rebuild a business that has been around since 2009, and done well since 2010. I can only move forward at this point. With a clear conscience before God, and a fresh, hopeful outlook – my motives will be centered on God’s will, not my own as I pray for an undivided heart.